For some women being pregnant is less than glorious, a necessary part of the journey to being a mother, full of aches and pains and hormones that must be tolerated on the way to a very happy result. Not me, I was one of those rare creatures who reveled in being pregnant, luxuriating in my transformation. And regarding every weird, inexplicable physical symptom with wonder and awe. The first moment we saw the heartbeats of my babies on the ultrasound screen, I was transformed to goddess status. I was the divine goddess, creating life in the most profound sense, and fulfilling a destiny and I could not have imagined that would feel so good.It was as if I had been transported to a parallel world I didn’t even know existed. And I was the queen.
This very spiritual experience was exactly what had eluded me in all those years of my yoga practice. I felt deeply connected to the life force in the universe and the life force inside of me. With every action and every thought I was aware that these two tiny little groups of cells were every minute, every second growing into babies. Remember the game where you would add “between the sheets” to every fortune from a fortune cookie? I added the mantra “I’m pregnant” to everything, infusing all my actions with profound meaning. “I’m walking up the stairs, and I’m pregnant. I’m brushing my teeth, and I’m pregnant. I’m eating a bagel and I’m pregnant. I’m kissing my husband and I’m pregnant. I’m at a meeting at work, and I’m pregnant.”
However, as I began to assume ginormous proportions, the spiritual transformation quickly gave way to a very liberating physical experience. I was like most women, obsessed with my body, and my routine included a daily analysis of my strengths and weaknesses. But when I was pregnant I was sexy, and beautiful in every way. I felt pride in my body that I had never known. My belly, which had until that day been subject to a healthy dose of self-loathing, became my most treasured feature! I beamed from ear to ear when I first started to show and could wear the pregnancy tops that accentuated my belly and announced my status to the world. I rubbed the belly, I showed it off! Heads would turn and people everywhere would smile at me.
